we were in my old house in south carolina. it was some emotional conversation while laying in bed. something about how we both still have feelings for each other and how she wanted to be with me. we kissed. that's why they call them dreams, right?

_____ dream #4,315

had a dream that i was living in my old house in south carolina and _____ came to spend the day. we drank cherry coke and there was some cake. but i wouldn't give her any until she apologized for some hyper-specific thing which i won't go into. she apologized, but it didn't make it feel any better...i'm guessing that's about how it'd feel in real life...

dreamed i was playing guitar for ben folds at ben's house in fayetteville. we were playing "the bitch went nuts" from his new album.

dreamt that i met jeff tweedy. i didn't want to talk about wilco though. instead i talked to him about the minus 5 and golden smog (some of the side projects he's been involved with). in particular, we discussed the golden smog album "weird tales." this is probably how a real life conversation with jeff tweedy would go for me...maybe with a little bit of "so why'd you keep making music after yankee hotel?" (that is to say that i think it is his best effort)

had a dream there was a turtle living in a spider web in my apartment. i apologized and took down his web but he didn't forgive me and chased me. pete rorabaugh looked him up online and found that he was much more harmless than you'd expect of a turtle living in a spider web.

then i had a sex dream again.

i can hear the silence for miles.

we went to the beach. i was driving the old green honda. i got a blanket out and we walked to the beach. it was sort of below us and we were at the top of a hill that was shaded by trees. the tide was high and so there was nowhere on the shore to put our blanket. so we just sat on the hill. you were wearing a black and white polka dot dress. you told me that i was not allowed to take a nap.

not sure why my grandma's house plays such a big role in my dreams, but there it was again and you were asleep on the couch. that was it.

last night i had the worst dream in a long time. it was one of those things where i nearly did something about because it woke me up at 3am. in the dream you said i should call you at 4am, 3pm georgia time. i almost did...

had a dream that things were going well. you came to korea and we went on a walk and i showed you around. we ate cereal. there was also a welsh corgi.

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there was an explosion in a building and out of the building there came wounded people and also shining people. it was assumed that the injured were still alive and that the shining people were angels/dead folks. they walked out of the building and past me as they ascended. there were other people who were crying, who were also dead. they walked into the earth like it was the deep end of the ocean. one shiny angel person tore their wings off and descended into the earth.

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had a dream that you were living in my grandma's house. shea was over. i came home from korea to give you back a pair of socks that you'd left at my place. i ended up crying.

dreamed that i was having sex with someone. they were trying to clip my toenails while all of this was happening.

dreamt that i was held up at gun point by two women in korea. one of them had a crush on me and i found out her name. so i was trying to find this girl who held me up at gun point so i could ask her on a date. i found her and she commented on my blog, asking me if i though chicken sandwiches should be free or not...because she said that growing up would be a lot easier for her and her family if chicken sandwiches had been free...and that my answer would affect what she thought of me. so i wrote back in korean that chicken sandwiches should be free. then i finally met her at my grandma's house in south carolina. it turns out she had a boyfriend but was did not like him very much. he was an army guy and was really condescending and boastful. i asked him what he did for a living and he said 'what does it look like?' and i responded "i don't know...frat boy, douche bag?" then the girl sang me a song she had written and it was amazing...this is another one of those times when i find a really good song in a dream and wish i could remember it...ultimately, the boyfriend knew what my intentions were and made lots of threats and then he stole my sewing kit and ran away. i looked at the girl and said, "you don't like him do you?" and she said she didn't. i said "well good...so do you like me?" and she said she didn't...but it was odd, because originally she looked very specific and while we were having this conversation, she looked completely different. the end.

had a dream where me and zach and stephanie were running from someone and we ended up in an apartment we thought belonged to someone...but it was the wrong person. instead, it was a japanese man who didn't know us, but he cooked us filet minon and had us eat it with chopsticks. it was quite nice. i also dreamt that i got to south korea and looked in my suitcases and found that everything was ruined because the suitcases were filled with spaghetti sauce.

so i woke up this morning sick. after i blew my nose and lamented my ruined day, i went back to sleep. i had a dream that i took two nyquil and my dad said that was proof that i had a drug problem. we were at the bank in piedmont, sc where i grew up. he was dropping me off at school...except he didn't because i was driving the car. either way. in class i was blowing my nose and someone said my snot looked like vomit. i went into the hallway and lit a cigarette and started walking back to the parking lot. i found my dad's wallet in my pocket. i got home and i guess my parents knew i had been depressed because they were saying that they were going to get a therapist to come over and talk to me in front of the whole family. they didn't understand that that's not what i wanted to happen at all. they kept pushing it. finally they said "alright, well let's just go out to eat tonight and we can talk about your girl problems." it ended with me yelling at them.

so in this dream i am driving to atlanta and ben is about to leave town. so i call him and ask what he's doing. i was going to invite him to go eat sushi. he said he was having coffee in atlanta and getting an old fashioned shave. so i call alea to go out for sushi w/me (though, there isn't much of it she can really eat). so i miss the place we were supposed to meet at, she calls me and cancels, and so i keep driving to go to another sushi place down the street.

when i walk in, i hear "fuck you.......just kidding, hey josh." i turn and see quilly smiling at me and with her is lacey, daniel bass, amanda, and someone who is supposed to be lacey's sister. lacey does not look at me, she is looking down, writing something. it looks more like a school cafeteria than a sushi restaurant. and there is a teacher announcing who gets what parts in the school play. lacey's sister got the lead role and in the dream i thought "she's going to be upset about that" because in the dream, lacey was always living in the shadow of her older sister. i go outside and smoke and there's a nice basset hound outside. i play with the dog. amanda comes out and she's wearing flannel and torn jeans and looks like she's from 1994. she talks to the person who owns the bassett hound and then kisses them. i go back inside.

lacey is still writing and not speaking to me. for some reason, in this dream, i do not have the social grace to remove myself from this awkward situation. then lacey says "here" and hands me the letter she's been writing on 3x5 index cards. i did not read it in the dream...but i remember feeling grateful, because she almost never hand wrote me letters. she was sitting down and i hugged her and she recoiled with exasperation, let out a deep sigh, and said "no" as if i was an idiot. after that, i didn't want to read the letter, knowing that whatever was in it would probably break my heart more than my failed hug.

in this dream, i was in florida at the beach with a stranger. all i knew was that i did not like this girl. she had fake blond hair and complained about the music i was listening to. i asked her what she liked and she told me "garth brooks." she also claimed to like nothing BUT garth brook. i had neglected to fill my brand new tires with air before we left and i felt it go flat. so i pulled into a gas station to fill it with air. the tire had torn almost in half, but i wasn't too upset because i knew that they were under warranty! then aron hall was in the gas station and he gave me the number for one of his cop friends to help me out. i picked up a hot dog and called him.........on the hot dog.

kanye and merle

alright, so here is what happened last night. i had tickets to a merle haggard concert, but i didn't have anyone to go with. it was at the fox theatre. i remember that i paid 54$ for them. so i called around a bunch and couldn't find any to go with me, so i left and went to travis and martina's. i needed to use the bathroom and they showed me where it was. the crazy thing was that it looked like a public restroom. then there was something about kanye west playing a trick on his girlfriend. he was hiding in a hallway, in a large teacup sprinkled with sugar, and he thought that this was very hilarious. i was also in my old neighborhood from south carolina, riding my bike at 60mph. i sped by josh austin and stole his hat, but ultimately, i gave it back. and lastly, there was another one that i don't feel like sharing.

dinner with andrea

in this dream, i was driving to atlanta when i got a call from one of my old bosses from the gardening job i had a few years ago. andrea, head of the maintenance team, was calling me because she didn't have anyone to go to a fancy party with. i told her i would come with her if she wanted me to...but first, i decided i would get a cup of coffee at octane first so i started driving to the city, but for some reason it was taking a really long time. my car started to overheat and she called me again right as i hit traffic because she was there and i was late. in the dream, i saw where she was and it felt strangely like south carolina. i decided i would forego the coffee and just stop at a sandwich shop for dinner real quick. i stood in front of the counter forever and wondered why i wasn't getting any service and it was because i had cut in line and that the line wrapped all the way around the store. so i decided i wouldn't get a sandwich either...end of dream, fun, huh?

"i could love you...i could love you..."

1) i had a really graphic sex dream, but it's special because this is only like the 2nd or 3rd one i've ever had in which i was a) attracted to the person b)the dream made sense and c)the imaginary sex was enjoyable. part of the dream was also that my relatives were meeting the girl i had dream sex with and they were teasing me in front of her etc. my dad asked me to pray over the food in front of like 15 of our relatives and the dream girl...even though he knows that i am specifically opposed to the ritual of flowery blessings over food (for which we are not really thankful and which is bad for us to eat). somehow though, i got through it and when we were alone we started talking and kissed a few times...and after we did, it was like we both had a revelation...and at some point between the kissing and the sex, it was understood that we were married at this point. as we kissed, she said "i could love you...i could love you." now, i have not mentioned the name of the young lady because i've said too much as it is and it would probably make her feel uncomfortable to know that i had sexed her in a dream and that i want to sex her in real life. =)

2) i had just watched "the departed" for the first time last night. in this dream, i was leonardo d.'s character (not that i looked like his greasy weasel ass), and i was the cop in the crooks. we were in a walmart and i realized they had figured me out and i had to get out. but they were already after me. one aisle of walmart was a bunch of vintage guitar amps and i thought "i'd really like to look at those, but i'm going to die in a minute." i actually made it out of the walmart, but there was one guy there, he was way stronger than me and was like a zombie or a machine. i kept fighting him and he didn't respond at all until i kicked him in the balls and he cried. i guess i got away.

so i was falling through a series of rooms at a rapid speed. most of the rooms were red, yellow, and brown and looked like they were from the 70's. it felt like i was sitting on one side of a giant book while pages were closing over me and i was being pulled deeper into the spine. i noticed some gray, and a warehouse were slowly coming into view. i felt like if i held onto the table that i could stop falling. every room i fell through the table was slightly different. during this time, i didn't know who i was or where i was. i remember trying to remember my name and not being able to. i didn't know who i was with. i didn't know that i existed. it started in blackness and then all of these other things happened. i literally lost the concept of ego/self for about 2 minutes, but it felt like much longer. i watched joel knock the cherry onto the table and it seemed like it was about to catch fire while he was laughing maniacally and i thought "this is how people die, this is how i'm going to die" and so i lit a cigarette and thought to myself "i am smoking a cigarette...what a strange feeling." it felt like i was enveloped by an egg crate or perhaps decaying leafy matter. when i was experiencing it, i thought "it feels like i'm being chewed by strawberries." it was the most terrifying experience i've had in a long time. don't smoke salvia.

the little hours

so this is the first substantial weird dream i've had in a while.

i was visiting someone's mother to check up on her. next door, i heard this horrible sound. it sounded like children yelling, but it was broken up audio, so it was like a spliced sample. when i asked what it was, the mother told me that it was her next door neighbor...that ultimately, she was a child murderer and that no one could catch her in the act. apparently, everyone was very afraid of her.

next scene: i am wandering in the witch lady's backyard. it looks like a junkyard w/just a bunch of random pieces of salvage laying about. the sound is still there and i noticed that it is coming from a turntable. it is music, crazy experimental music. i took the record off and the woman saw me and asked me to come inside. i went in terrified because i had been told this woman was a murderer...but i went in anyway.

she puts on another record and it was one i knew in the dream. she apparently used to be an artist. she made some comment about how i had probably never heard of this band and i told her no, i like the little hours very much and so do many other people i know. she was making us tea. i was still terrified. in order to get out of the house, i said i would go get my ipod because there was a lot of stuff that i listened to that was influenced by the little hours. i raced outside.

at my car was my friend's mother and she asked me if the lady was in there. i say yes and that if i go back i think she's going to kill me. i couldn't figure out where my keys were. the mother said "it's time, let's get her" and i saw her and her son run into the house and from what i heard there was a scuffle. it became clear to me that they had killed this woman and when i was about to leave the mother ran out and she was carrying a bag of stuff she had taken from the woman's house. i asked her if she was going to call the police and she said "not right now! don't you see all the money we got?" and the look on her face told me that this woman was not a child murdering witch, that they just wanted the things that she had and that i had somehow aided in this innocent woman's murder and i felt horrible.

i woke up feeling really upset.

dreamed i did cocaine, but it made me really relaxed and easy going and aware. that's all i really remember.

very vague dreams...had a dream that me and alea went to some sort of railroad ghost town that was a tourist resort. our train engineer was zach smola. the thing is, the longer we stayed in costume/character in this old western town, it started to become real. i remember realizing that we were not joking anymore and that everyone was convinced that we were in the old west and i knew that i had to wake everyone up, but i couldn't.

finally had a dream last night.

in the dream, i kissed two girls i know at a slumber party. it was kind of strange.

another dream in the same night was me pledging for a fraternity and the leader being really mad at me because i was late because i had to work. i had to argue with him, but i really wanted to be in this fraternity. go figure.